Yesterday (Saturday, February 18, 2022), the two-time international best selling author, business owner, and editor, Mary Turner Thomson called me on Zoom. My manuscript about the late Harry Leo Duran, MD, PHD, MPH needs a re-write. Strip out all the academic writing and just tell MY story. Start with my last conversation which I had in the manuscript

At 6:19 p.m., Sunday, November 7, 2021, my husband called me gasping for breath.  He wanted to remind me that he had an appointment at 8:30 in the morning to get an infusion of monoclonal antibodies.  I told him that he was dying.  He argued while gasping that he was not.  I told him it was too late to get the infusion that it only worked if the patient got the treatment within the first 72 hours of showing symptoms.  He didn’t speak.

What he did manage to get out was a question.  “Did you ever get to watch Foundation?” 

NO!, I replied. 

“You never gave me the password”.  Harry controlled the Apple TV subscription and he had forgotten the password and then blamed me for not being able to get onto the platform. We had had a huge fight about it, and I gave up.  “If you are alive in the tomorrow, and you won’t be.  BUT if you are in the morning, but again you won’t be, IF you survive, but you won’t, and you give me the password, I’ll watch the series.”  Very weak voice “Oh, okay well I just want to make sure you know I’m going to the clinic at 8:30”.  I snorted.  “Yes, I wrote it down.  I have to go do the dishes.”  VERY, VERY weak voice.  “Okay” and we hung up.

Begin with the last phone call. Then flash back to how we met and how I lived my life over the many years believing all the things he told me so much so that I married in him February 1997. How I STILL believed him despite the violent rage attacks during which he destroyed many of my prized possessions and during the many attacks where he beat me so bad I didn’t want to live anymore.

WHY did I believe him? Why couldn’t I escape?

How did I NOT know what he was doing in Las Vegas? How did I NOT know about the things he did BEFORE I met him when I was 20 and he had not yet turned 18?

How did my mind not snap when I unlocked his phone and got into his email and text messages and Facebook accounts and into his Messenger exchanges?

How did he set it up so I’d want to kill myself when he died? Why didn’t I?

How did I survive for the weeks following his death after discovering that he had spent ALL of our entire savings of over a $500,000, and that’s underestimating what the account should have had in it?

How did I survive when I discovered that over $40,000 in gold coins, silver coins, and platinum had been stolen? What was it like to have to talk to a homicide detective, file claims with home owner’s insurance agents, try to file a police report when the Las Vegas Metro wasn’t answering because Vegas stayed in lockdown longer than we did here up in Elko County nine hours north?

To this day, I STILL do not have a police report for the $30,000 plus worth of items stolen from the house Harry used as an office which was burglarized a week after the realtor posted the PENDING sign and the house went under contract.

What was it like having to appear on Zoom with a lawyer for AAA home owners insurance for a deposition answering the most intrusive questions you can imagine about my marriage to a psychotic physician who I had not seen for three years and yet with whom I was still married and still under the belief that he was going to retire and move back up to Spring Creek?!!!!

I stripped myself out of the manuscript and focused on Harry and his career and his college and graduate studies. I detailed HIS interests in sufism and Tibetan Buddhism then gnosticism then converting back to his family’s Roman Catholicism switching to the Maronites then to the Eastern Orthodox! I railed about how he then threw it all away, stripped naked and stared in sex clubs and performed vile acts of a form of kink most people cannot imagine exists.

The NEW manuscript will have the reader see through my eyes, feel through my skin, and hear through my ears.

I will tell my story with scenes from our friendship over the years and then our marriage. The abuse will be in there but it will not get HAIRY – pun intended UNTIL you read this:

Harry Leo Duran was found buck naked on his $3,000 Lovesac couch which had to get tossed because it was too filthy to move, on November 8, 2021. I had frantically placed calls to the apartment complex office, the medical office where he never showed up, and to the clinic where he worked. I also called a friend of his. His body was eventually found by the Las Vegas Metro with his poor $2,500 pure bred English bulldog guarding the corpse of the man who let the poor dog wallow in his own poop and urine most of the time.

I got to the apartment on November 10 with a man who basically saved my life after I had saved his. A man the late Notorious Doc wanted to murder! That man gathered up all of the electronic devices and searched for post it notes, and notepads which might contain passwords. At 6:35 p.m., on November 16, 2021, Brian clapped his hands in front of my face and screamed!

YOU WERE HIS WIFE! UNLOCK THE PHONE!

It’s a shamanic technique. I had no idea Brian knew it nor do I think he did. It worked. I went into that zone psychics dip into and I typed the first thing that popped into my head. The phone unlocked.

Device after device was handed to me and all but one unlocked. With his IPHONE that I knew he used for work in my hand and the Samsung Galaxy that I knew he used as a backup, I scrolled up through Messages to call the physicians I knew he was scheduled to see that week.

The rest of the story is what I found on the phone. Videos, photos, text exchanges that no porn star has ever uttered or at least not the Stormy Daniels type of porn star would. We brought home boxes and bags and totes filled with unopened mail and piles of bills. I had to call all of the credit card companies to let them know he was dead. What I discovered was so sickening, I didn’t sleep nor eat for three weeks basically living on Carnation Instant Breakfast and what food I forced myself to try to eat and not throw up.

I exchanged texts with several of Harry’s kink partners. I met a stripper who works as a waitress who talked to me for an hour about how physicians, dentists, pharmacists, lawyers, and politicians fly into Vegas to engage in the highest forms of perversion I even found out how much some of it costs!

Mary told me to not tell HARRY’s story but to tell how I tracked down the artists Harry threw thousands and thousands and THOUSANDS of dollars at for their artwork. I need to tell how I scrolled up through text messages spanning the last 4 years of his life detailing his attitudes and beliefs and how those same people in the texts claimed they barely knew him when I was looking right at the most inappropriate (and that’s putting it mildly) “conversations” and use of most not politically correct language one could hope to read!

The book will describe how I had to send for as many years as a credit card company could send of paper statements so I could track down receipts for all of the stolen items. And how I found out where our savings went!

The book needs to sell, and to do that, I need to target the reader who loves a good detective story with a lot of salacious and scary material. Harry practiced black magick! Not everyone got to see him blowing cigar smoke and pouring whiskey over a large cauldron containing herbs and items I never did want to ask about, including a rusted railroad stake he found on the tracks in Newark and a human skull the idiot purchased when he was a neurosurgery resident. I never “saw” any of his spells work. In fact, I used to just shrug off his interests in such things as part of his need to feel special.

The new manuscript will take the reader through MY memories, one of which was when Harry took me to a bodega in El Paso and the owner wanted to cut me which pissed Harry off to the extreme because he had wanted to be asked to become an initiate.

The new manuscript will prove that a woman’s spirit cannot be broken – WOUNDED – but not broken if and ONLY if she has the WILL to survive at all costs. You must never sever the tether between you and the Divine! For the unseen world is very real and when you sink as far as I did, they will raise you back up to the surface. You must never give up. You must never give into the fear. It will grip you so tight you will not be able to breathe. The demonic – dark entities that hate humans, will grab on and drag you to hell. I blog about Hell and I’ve done a series of videos about Hell. The advantage I had was I had meditated on the hell realms and was able to seek the Sunlight and the flowers and the angelic beings who can guide you out of the darkest nightmare you might find yourself in.

With a lot of work, the finished manuscript which Mary will edit once it is done, will be in a guide to how to survive Hell. For a marriage or any relationship with a malignant and violent abusive narcissist is the closest thing to Hell you will ever get to experience save prison life or a battlefield.

Wish me luck. Revisiting all these memories will be a nightmare, but worth it in the end.